Monogamy, Not Polygamy
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le of marriage in Islam (4:21). A normal man cannot split his own self into parts,
each for a different woman and for his children. However, Islam allowed – not
ordered or recommended – that a man may have another wife exceptionally in
cases of necessity. A wife may be seriously and incurably ill for all her remaining
life, and her husband my be committed sincerely to take care of her, but he, the
child and the ill wife may need badly woman to take care of the family. It is up to
the suggested co-wife to accept to reject freely, and no one can impose on her a
marriage against her will, according to the Islamic law, whether she is the only
wife or a co-wife. She should know that she would be a co-wife because of legal
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marriage cannot be based on fraud and deception. It is required to register in such
a marriage that the new wife know about the previous marriage and has no
objection. Besides, the previous wife has to know and to agree to be a co-wife.
Islam did not establish polygamy in Arabia nor in the world. Polygamy- the
marriage of a man to more than one woman – still exists “in every part of the
world, but it is mot frequent among African peoples” according to the Academic
American Encyclopedia. It is know that the Bible permitted Jews to have more
than one wife, and polygamy prevailed in the patriarchal age, and was permitted in
principle under the Mosaic law, and continued to later times – according to Smith’s
Bible Dictionary. According to the Bible, David and Solomon had many wives.
From the Qur’anic texts, the permission of marrying more than one wife has
several restrictions, as it reads: Accordingly:
“And if you fear that you may cause the orphans injustice, then marry women of
your choice, two, or three, or four, But if you fear that you can not deal justly
with them, then only one… That is more likely to keep you from committing an
injustice.” (4:3)
• A ceiling was put to polygamy, restricting the maximum number of
legitimate co-wives to four.
• It is related to an injustice suffered by the orphans, which may refer to afterwar circumstances, when many women became widows who have to take
care of their orphaned children, including girls in the age of marriage.
• Fairness in treating the co-wives is a pre-condition; otherwise one wife is the
general rule and normal situation “to keep you from committing an
injustice.”
Another Qur’anic verse shows how impossible it is to maintain such an equal
fairness among co-wives, and how difficult it is to be even close to such equal
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fairness (4:129). Injustice would be suffered not only by the co-wives but also by
their children who have to live as half brothers and sisters. The required “love and
tenderness” (30:21) would certainly be underlines in such a “partnership.”
Prophet Muhammad emphasized clearly the general rule and normal situation of
monogamy, when he heard that his cousin Ali was to take another wife beside the
Prophet’s daughter Fatima, underlining the rights of the wife and her family to
know about he other marriage and to reject it. From a practical viewpoint, a
women would never accept to share a man with another women, unless women
outnumber men in certain circumstances, and it may be better to accept the reality
temporarily until the balance is restored, rather than to have them suffer
psychologically and socially. If the family has to be a model for the whole society
in its harmonious relations and fulfillment of all responsibilities (25:74), one man
and one women only can establish such a strong and balanced nucleus that can
represent such a model in the mutual relations within the family and with the
whole society. Polygamy was permitted with restrictions, exceptionally and
temporarily, while men and women were educated and persuaded to develop a
monogamous society, which is prevalent now in many Muslim communities. In
some Muslim countries, there are laws that restrict having more than one wife.
The teachings of Islam about the religious and social importance of marriage and
the necessity of justice within the family, have developed an attitude on monogamy
among the Muslims, similar to what occurred among the early Jews, (who may not
be aware today that polygamy was in their Scriptures and practiced by their
ancestors for a long time). According to Solomon Grayzel in A History of Jews:
“The family was considered a sacred Jewish institution. The ties between husband
and wife, parents and child, were highly treasured… That is one reason why the
Jews practiced monogamy, in spite of the fact that the Bible permits a man to have
more than one wife… As time went on, the Jews adopted monogamy as their rule,
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although – since the law and the subject had not been changed – there was a Jew
now and then who married more than one woman… At the Synod, Rabbenu
Gershon introduced a takhanah, (a decision made by authorized religious rabbis
about an emerging issue) by which anyone who married more than one wife was to
be ex-communicated… It should have expired among 1850, but good sense has
kept it alive among the Jews of the German tradition. Sephardi Jews and others
have never considered themselves bound by it. To this day, cases of polygamy
occur among the Yemenite Jews and the Sephardi Jews of the near East” (pp 213,
286-287).
